17/05/2010

Today is Monday, as normal we started off with a slow tempo.
Everything seems to move so slowly.
Ah Leen MSN-ed me, and talk about mother's day.
How did i celebrate with her and so on.
But, unfortunately i was not able to provide her with an answer.
Indeed, i wish i can tell people i at least do something for my mum on such a special occasion.
But ever since the incident happened, me and my mum never talk with each other for quite some time.
It is the first time i face such kind of situation that my mum ignoring me for so long.
I am not sure what i am doing is right or wrong.
I can't make a firm decision in between the 2 important ladies.
I don't wish anyone of them get hurt.
Why can't it just be i am the one to suffer and go through all this?

What Ah Leen said is so true and i know that.
We can never predict tomorrow, and don't leave our life with regret.
Indeed i am suffering to looking on my responses each day.
I feel heart pain as in i am hurting someone who is so important to me.
She raised me up....
She have gone through all the hard times.
What she is hoping from us, would just be our happiness and health.
Is not wealth and prosper from us.
So is it right for me to make her continue ignoring me?
Or shall i seek other alternative to build back the relationship between me and my mum?
I wish there is other alternative.

When it comes to this situation, i feel like i am drowning.
Exhausted mentally. . . . .
Or is it the problem purely because of myself?
I am still doubting and continue to doubt. . . . . .

11/05/2010

I realize sometimes i am very fortunate.
I am not sure whether it is an arrangment from god or it is just purely luck.
Sometimes when I overlook something or missed out something, the next day i am fortunate enough to finish it.
It just seems that i feel something is not right or automatically i will proceed to the place.
It just happen, but anyhow we should never take all this fortune for granted.
As it might not represent something and still lack of something.
It is wise for us to double check and confirm everything that we need to do.
:D

23/04/2010

Recently have all sort of funny funny dream.
I dream of 1 person suddenly cut my hair when i am not alert.
I dream of some stupid action.
Haha~
My dream are just so colorful recently.
LOLZ

15/04/2010

I dream of you again.
I dream of the warm moment i am chatting with you.
Why does it differ from reality so much.

Mentally i am tormented into pieces.
I lost my direction on where i should go and where i should head.
Does a believe will bring me any further?

Priceless advise have come to me.
But it is still up to me to make the decision.
Which i am still doubting and continue doubting over and over again.
I am not convinced.

14/04/2010

Often i dream of my mum talking with me.
How much i wish this come true.
But why i feel that i can't achieve it.
I don't wanna think of anything.
My mentally feel so tired and i feel like i am drowning.

12/04/2010

Things remain un-solve.
but how? i don't know what is the best solution i can get out of this.
I feel exhausted as time goes by.

05/04/2010

When i heard you talk to sister, i realize that i miss your voice so much.
I feel that it had been a while that we never talk with each other.
I really wonder how long does this need to go.
I really feel tired, and i really love you Mum.